What I do to my Face in the Morning

Everyone's make-up routine here sounds so sophistique. I will put on make up 98% of the time, and I don't always take it off before I go to sleep. Clearly my skin problems, which decided to crop up when I turned 22, are of my own making. As Kurt Vonnegut said: 'So it goes.'

So, after shuffling about aimlessly for five to ten minutes after getting out of bed, I'll shower and every other day, I use St. Ive's Apricot Scrub on my face. It always seems to make my skin feel wicked clean, probably because I can feel all that gross stuff on my face being vigorously rubbed off. Also, it's very satisfying to rough up your face. Weird, but true.

2 - More dillydallying, but eventually I put on L'Oréal Future E moisturizer, which I've used since I was in high school.

3 - Then, I apply NYC Cover Stick as a base on all my blemishes and dark circles, both of which have become a constant fixture. I used to have something by Maybelline, which was honestly superior, but alas, I lost it.

4 - Liquid foundation time! Basically, I buy what's on sale at the time. Currently, I use Skin Perfecting by a British company called 17. It's alright, though it is supposed to control shine and it has SPF 12. And in combination with my moisturizer, which is SPF 15, I break even.

5 - Now for the powder foundation. I'm a huge fan of CoverGirl Clean powder foundation. Naturally, being cadaverous in color, I use ivory.

5 1/2 - When I'm looking particularly icky or trying to impress someone (yes, I have no shame), I will apply some blush. Normally I eschew this step, because I blush too easily and I don't feel the need to make it even worse. However, when the moment of truth comes, I use Smooth Minerals by Avon. Don't judge, I can hear you making jokes about pink cars, but I've had this for 3 years.

6 - Eyeshadow time! Again, unless I have a specific reason to, I won't wear it. Applying eye shadow is frustrated by the fact I have very almond shaped eyes, so that when they are open, my eyelids are totally hidden. However, when I feel inclined to make an effort, I use L'Oréal Wear Infinité for green eyes.

7 - I always curl my eyelashes, even if I'm omitting mascara from my routine (yes, I don't always wear mascara). I am currently using Great Lash, Blackest Black; however, it's not waterproof, which can be a real mare in the Glasgow weather scene.

8 - Lipcrack, as I like to call it, or chappy. Daily I vacillate between Smith's Minted Rose Lip Balm and Bert's Bees Original. If I'm feeling particularly classy, I use Kate Spade's Supercalifragilipstick! (Adventurous Red) WHICH IS AMAZING. It's very subtle and goes from day to night with ease.

There you have it. I am the bottom of the rung when it comes to make-up routines.